Monday, January 27, 2014

Because it's not always fun and play

Being abroad isn't all the time just fun and with this post I want to show that I myself have hard times here. Yes, the chick who has moved 11 times in the past 7 years and has usually no bigger issues in adapting to a new culture, is having a shitty day today.
I get homesick too, like everyone else. Though I am probably one of those lucky ones who only has to fight them with for a short time with period (max. a day, usually only a couple of hours or until something else occupies my mind). Those moments come suddenly, just at the most random moments and you are hit with this absolute feeling of loneliness. The only thing to do then is to shake off those bad thoughts and focus on something else, the things you love in your new environment and the new things waiting ahead of you.
But there are days where you can't do that and those are most of the times the ones where you are sick. I came down with a fever last night, not sleeping any at all, shaking a lot which caused my muscles to tense up and now I'm just in excruciating pain. Plus I have a neck pain, headache and problems with swallowing food. The fever seems to rise now as well again. My right knee is really amused about all of this, the fever caused the muscles to tense up in the legs too and right now I'm hoping somebody would come and cut my leg off.
These are the worst days. You wish you were in your own apartment, in your own room with your pillows and blankets. No cars outside, only the constant quiet humming of the fridge, which brings you into sleep. I wish I had my sweatpants with me so I wouldn't have had to change into my normal clothes for going to the nearby store to buy ice cream. I wish I had taken my medicine with me which helps when swallowing is the most difficult thing in your life. I just wish I was at home in my own bed which makes me feel safe.
I wish I was in Finland. But I'm not, so I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.

There you go, it's out there! I feel like shit! I'm homesick! Now everyone knows. And I know tomorrow things will hopefully look better. Because that's what it is all about.

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